Dagoth Ur Takes Over TES 6 Development
Todd Howard, also known as God Howard, is Bethesda Games Studios' game director. Until recently, Howard was the head developer and director for the much-anticipated The Elder Scrolls 6. However, Howard has been removed from TES 6’s development and replaced in both roles by Dagoth Ur.
Dagoth Ur was the primary antagonist of the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, regarded by many TES fans as the best in the franchise. How a character from a nearly twenty-three-year-old video game can be the head developer and game director for a game is a question we at TheFakeNewsGazette will not ask.
Instead, we sent one of our many illegally underpaid investigative journalists[1] to interview Dagoth Ur and ask some hard questions to Bethesda’s employees. The question on everyone’s mind is: why was Todd Howard removed from TES 6? According to Dagoth Ur, it was because of Starfield, Bethesda’s latest game and IP.
“Starfield was hyped up to the level of godhood, which I know a lot about because I am a god,” Dagoth Ur said. “But it wasn’t the hit that Bethesda thought it would be, and Todd Howard was the driving force behind Starfield. So, Bethesda’s overlords at Microsoft knew that the studio's next game, TES 6, needed to be great and didn’t trust Todd to make it. They fired him from the project and replaced him with me, who made Morrowind great.”
Dagoth Ur explained that he made Morrowind great because he is “a god.” The Sharmat then went on a rant, saying that the Dunmer are superior, and explained in detail why the other Elder Scrolls races are inferior[2].
Considering Dagoth's strong racial opinions, it is no wonder that rumors say he is taking the Elder Scrolls 6 in a radical new direction. However, when asked about how his vision of TES 6 differs from Todd Howard’s, Lord Dagoth said TES 6 under his leadership “will honor the Sixth House and the Tribe Unmourned” while the game would not have if “the false god and N’wah” Todd Howard was left in charge. While Dagoth did not elaborate further, a Bethesda employee has come forward to fill in the blanks.
The employee, who requested anonymity, said Dagoth’s changes have been “Dunmercentric” at their core. He informed this credible newspaper that Dagoth is making Dunmer the only playable race in TES 6, changing the setting to Morrowind, making all Khajit and Argonians in the game slaves, and focusing the main quest on destroying the Empire and the Thalmer.
“Fans complained that Skyrim wasn’t enough of an RPG compared to our old games, and with the changes Dagoth is making, they’ll complain TES 6 isn’t an RPG at all, and they’ll be right,” predicted the employee.
But Lord Dagoth is unconcerned, and people who believe The Elder Scrolls 6 will be received poorly have “a grand and intoxicating innocence.”
“I am a god, not a false god like those three traitors of the Tribunal, which means I can do nothing wrong,” Dagoth tweeted[3]. “But for the concerned, rest assured I will make TES 6 better than my ash vampires and Corpus combined.”
Dagoth has set the bar for the Elder Scrolls 6, but if anyone can make TES 6 great, it’s a beloved and heavily memed Elder Scrolls character.
[1] That’s right, here at TheFakeNewsGazette we proudly ignore minimum wage laws. We can do things like that because we are a newspaper, and the First Amendment protects free speech.
[2] We at TheFakeNewsGazette do not believe this nor form opinions about the races of a fantasy video game series.
[3] Like us at TheFakeNewsGazette, Lord Dagoth doesn’t use the name “X” either. Dagoth said, “That mongrel dog of the Empire, Elon Musk, should have left well enough alone and not foolishly replaced a perfectly good name with a letter. Is this how he honors the Sixth House and the Tribe Unmourned?”
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